This is Friday Feels from Feeling Phine. My last post about being b@sic is right here. Thanks for reading!
Happy Friday.
My pajama regalia of the week is an Obama campaign shirt from 2008.
After brushing my teeth this morning I caught a glimpse of myself and Barry in the mirror. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard a voice sensually singing in my ear… “Baby, you’re the best candidate.”
It was none other than the Obama Girl.
For those unaware, “I Got A Crush On Obama” was a music video released in 2007 by Amber Lee Ettinger who, in full commitment to the song and moment, identified as “Obama Girl”.
I hadn’t thought of this lady, or this absolute bop, in years. I sang some of the lyrics I could remember in my head, smiled to myself, then continued on with my day. FOCUS! But as I went through the motions of my morning tasks, the song’s hook kept permeating my thoughts.
So I gave in and listened. And as I swayed my head along to the lyrics, I suddenly felt transported back to 2007…
I’m a sophomore in high school. I’m constantly late to first period Algebra II class. My Hollister shorts are barely-there short, yet I somehow dodge the dress code infractions. Perhaps I’m given a pass thanks to the fact that the lower buttcheeks miraculously remain hidden. Being petite has its perks.
I have a massive crush on a Republican guy from English class. I die every time he walks with me to my next class; we argue about whether climate change is real. I say yes. He says earth has always fluctuated between hot and cold. Is this flirting? Maybe!!
My friends and I stand by our favorite tree during lunch break, munching on sandwiches, discussing this morning’s quiz. With slightly more discretion, we gossip about our crushes and exchange the latest updates.
After school we’ll regroup for cross country practice and run four to eight miles, depending on the day of the week. After practice, if it’s a Tuesday, we’ll grab our backpacks and head to Del Taco. There we’ll spend $5 eating as many tacos as we can in multiples of three.
LIFE WAS GOOD.
It’s not like life is bad now. My quality of life is actually better. For one, I don’t engage with climate change deniers! I’m simply older now, and aging inexorably leads to adult life, which is… more complex!
While thoughts of Obama Girl and feelings of nostalgia swirled around my head today, I started to feel weirdly emotional, which seems like a stupid reaction to a silly, viral internet video. Then I decided to give myself a break; it wasn’t JUST the song. It’s what the song invoked. It highlighted the chasm between the lightness I felt back then, in 2007, and the intense weariness I feel day-to-day at present.
I’m a fairly positive person, but after living through the shit show which some refer to as “public life” the last six years (including, but not limited to: a certain presidency, a pandemic, recent laws passed revoking women’s rights) it’s hard not to feel the gloom and doom.
In these moments of darkness I try not to spiral into complete despair, and instead, attempt to conjure up that feeling. You know the one! It’s that four letter word on Obama’s posters back in 2007/2008…. HOPE. Per Psychology Today (lol) “hope…can help us adapt to change and better manage adversity.”
And for those days when I can only summon a teeeeeeny bit of hope, and need a bit more fuel, I have other lighthearted, dependable serotonin blasts. In the same vein of nostalgia, I revisited an early aughts themed playlist I made which always gives me a boost. I’ve added the playlist in question for you, below, should you wish to take a trip down memory lane. If you’re a millennial, I hope this unearths memories of backseat car rides, early YouTube, and sweaty school dances:
Also, here’s the song which inspired the title of this post:
Along with a cute re-imagining of the song from the Fire Island movie soundtrack:
It’s not ALL terrible… right?
Have a fab weekend.
xo Joséphine
Lovely, Josephine as always!