Greetings from Copenhagen! I wrote this for a Friday post 2x weeks ago but had to delay the dispatch so as not to ruin the spicy surprise for my friend. She was surprised and delighted by her gift (yay) so, now I’m in the clear to overshare.
I bought lingerie for a platonic female friend this week. It’s the third time I’ve done this in the past year. As I walked to my car, bag of panties in hand, I wondered… Why am I doing this? Again?
You see, I’m attending a bachelorette party this weekend. As I’ve now learned, buying lingerie for a bride-to-be is a bachelorette tradition. The first time I was asked to buy panties for an engaged friend last May, my naive self thought it was a funny, original gesture cooked up by the bridesmaids.
A second bachelorette party approached. Another underwear assignment, this time from the Maid of Honor. Hmm, I thought, an odd coincidence, but sure, why not?! I procured some hot pink panties without giving the matter a second thought.
When I was instructed to buy lingerie on this third, most recent occasion, I finally paused and wondered: why am I, an adult woman, buying sexy underpants for another adult woman? And how and why is this a celebration of nuptials?
The question has been rolling around in my mind all week. I understand that certain wedding traditions are steeped in tradition and symbolism. Is this the case with the underwear gifting?
I wondered if the gift carried any potential passive-aggressive energy. I called my mom. “Maman, does the gift imply that the bride and groom need help spicing things up?”
“Non, Joséphine!” I could practically hear her eyes roll. “It is to help them make ze babies.”
I admit I didn’t pay close attention in biology, but I don’t remember lace and garters being essential to procreation.
I thought and thought and thought. Then I remembered that, back in the day, many decades ago, there was a time when people didn’t exchange fluids prior to exchanging rings. Gifting lingerie to a virgin would make much more sense. Perhaps this tradition, like wearing white, endured the test of time. To make sure I was on the right track, I consulted the internet’s new mother: Chat GPT. No dice, and no mention of virginity. Just vibes:
To be clear, I think gifting a soon-to-be-married friend a pair of fancy panties is a lovely gesture. That said, I’m unsure why this fun gift is limited to friends who are getting married. It seems counterintuitive. Why them? They already have a man! Someone has legally agreed to copulate with them, and only them, for the rest of their lives. I think whatever underpants they already own are serving them very well.
You know who might also enjoy some lingerie? The single gals. Or the ones who are in a relationship and aren’t engaged just yet. Or the ones who never want to be married but might want to look and feel sexy for themselves.
I am now a proponent of gifting lingerie on any occasion. Let us normalize buying panties for our friends. Say, your friend is graduating from an MBA program and you don’t know what to get her. Why not buy her a new bra?! Your sister’s birthday is coming up? She’ll find an occasion for those lacy thigh highs. Going to a gal pal’s housewarming party? She’ll receive enough candles and potted plants. Take the road less travelled. Buy her a pair of crotchless panties. Just remember to grab a gift receipt; it’s possible she already has that exact pair.
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